So your girlfriend called it quits on the relationship but you think things could work out if she gives it another chance. What is the best way to go about getting her back? There is a lot of conflicting information on this topic floating around on the internet, so you are probably confused about how to proceed. The not so direct answer here is “it depends”.
Like snowflakes, no two breakups are alike, so expecting to find a strategy that will work for everyone is an exercise in futility. If you want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back you will first have to take a long hard look at your relationship to determine what led to the breakup.
The Search for Objectivity
As the guy who just got dumped and is in a heightened emotional state, you may not be able to trust your own judgment here. You are too close to the situation to see it clearly. This is where having good friends will come in handy. As you may know from your own experience, it is easy to clearly see the dynamics of a friend’s relationship. You are close enough to see what is happening, but not so invested that you lose your objectivity.
Sit down with your closest friends and ask them to tell it to you straight. Their insight will be invaluable in helping you determine what went wrong, and how you can correct the problem. This information will make figuring out how to get your ex girlfriend back much easier.
When feeling hurt or betrayed it is easy for us to start throwing blame around. People have a tendency to blame inconsequential external factors rather than face the truth of their own responsibility for the failure of their relationship. This is counterproductive, and only prevents you from addressing the real issues that caused the breakup. If you make a plea to get her back before you have taken the time to understand the underlying problems, it is unlikely that your efforts will bear fruit.
It takes a mature, level-headed guy to face himself in the mirror and own up to his shortcomings. It is a humbling experience, and one you must go through if you are serious about reconciliation. Your ex will want to see that you have acknowledged the real problems, and are willing to take serious action toward correcting them. If you are still lying to yourself about why she ended the relationship, you will not be able to sit down and address the issues together constructively.
It is also important to recognize that your ex is likely experiencing negative motions just like you are. Failure to acknowledge this will be seen as insensitive and selfish, so make sure you do not show up at her door acting like the only victim of the breakup.
Discovering how to get your ex girlfriend back will take honesty, humility, and genuine effort on your part. No article or relationship guide will give you all the answers you will have to figure some of them out on your own.